Tuesday, 14 August 2012

A Tuesday Tale - you just can't get the staff

....and I'm debating whether to sack our gardener or not. He worries me when he dons his hat with 'Head Gardener' on - it's almost as if something slightly manic takes him over (maybe I should just throw the hat away, that might be the cause).

We have a mahoosive evergreen bush in the garden here, it really should be removed and the whole border then replanted. But, we have (no kidding) a fully resident blackbird, wife and family - year after year. Plus sparrows and a robin. So, for now the gigantic bush stays but it started to die off a few weeks ago - right in the centre parts so clipping the dead branches off was going to leave huge holes.

Then, one day about two weeks, ago Head Gardener said 'That bush is getting new growth - go take a look':
Well, I'll be blowed - sure enough, those brown twigs were now green. Then I looked a bit closer - Head Gardener had only been rootling round in the shed and found an almost empty spray can of green paint and had been renovating the bush with it!

In fact, I hate to admit it but it's done a temporary job - and the birds have accepted it really well.

BUT, and this is the bit that really worries me - Head Gardener then jumped into his car and whizzed off to a DIY store to buy more green spray paint so he could finish the job off properly :(

Apparently he once made a garden strimmer by using an old spin dryer motor attached to a pole. Barking, totally barking - Heath Robinson strikes again!



Anonymous said...

Heh heh heh, at least it blends in but what happens in the winter, does the rest of the bush lose it's leaves??? I think you husband and mine should never, ever meet! The world will be a much safer place if they don't!!


mamapez5 said...

I just love that story. If anyone else had written it I'm not sure I would have believed it!
My hubby would have waited until I had gone out and cut it down. He is a great believer in 'pruning hard', and out here everything grows so abundantly that it is the only way. I hope your bush survives. It's much too attractive to cut down, and lovely that you have so many birds in it.
Kate x

Annie said...

I'm chuckling here. Love your story for today Di.
When my head gardener puts his cap on our plants cringe and I hear whispers of 'look out here he comes again!'. Pruning? Not sure he knows the meaning....if it sits still long enough it gets a short back and sides....but I will add they do usually recover and there is nothing that precious in our garden really.
A x
ps munchkins are napping so I'm making the best of my 5 mins quiet :-)

Carol Willis said...

Hahaha! Oh my! What happens in the winter though, is it any evergreen? Better watch out, maybe he bought the extra green paint to paint the rest once all the leaves fall off for winter.
Caz x

Di said...

Yup, it's evergreen alright so no leaf fall :)


Sarn said...

Well, that's ONE WAY to ensure it stays EVER green! xxx

Twiglet said...

Fantastic - I love a lateral thinker! x Jo

Sarah said...

So Funny!

Sarah x

Anonymous said...

Bless him, l think he just wants his own crafting corner but l'd keep an eye on your inks Di, they may go walkies!

Thanks for another great tale, you bring a smile to me with every one :)

Big hugs xx

Mrs A. said...

Well I've blown the picy up and I can!t see the joins ! Hope the birdies weren't in the tree at the time or do you now have Green birds?! Hugs Mrs a.

Sandra H said...

Well your head gardener Di needs a pat on the back for getting the colour right is he a crafter too...lol it looks okay and as the family have accepted it no harm done so it looks as if its staying, xx

Victoria said...

ermmmm...... well I wouldn't have believed it if anyone else had written it!! Cracking tale! The PMs arrived today - I had a lovely (non schoolwork) afternoon playing!!

Darnell said...

Oh, my word and whiskers, what a hoot! I always say when little boys lined up before God, he offered them "either brains or a penis, can't have both." (You can share that with the playground, the girls would love it, but I'm too chicken to put it on my actual blog. Yet. I notice I'm getting lots braver as I get older!)

Anyway, I also wanted to say that you and OH, together, must be the riot of the neighborhood and among all your friends! How fun! My own DH isn't allowed near a pruning shears. He can only do one prune: everything ends up in the shape of a square! True story. Scientist and all that.

BTW, what does OH mean? I see it on blogs and can't be sure: "only husband," "outrageous husband," "other husband," "obtuse husband?" You see the possibilities are endless.

TTFN! Thanks for the guffaw!!

Elizabeth said...

I have looked and looked - I even clicked on for an enlarged view - and can't tell the difference, your Head Gardener has me fooled too!

This reminds me of the stories that used to go around army barracks about soldiers being turned out to paint grass green just before a royal visit ... maybe that's where he got the idea from :))

I'm just a tad jealous, I've only got an Assistant Gardener who can't tell weeds from garden-worthy plants!

Hugs, Elizabeth xx