Friday, 23 December 2011

Friday Feast - a festive recipe with a difference!

Christmas Cake Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup ... just in case
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat.
CHERRY MISTMAS!
Snigger, snort, snort! :))

Di
x

26 comments:

Amanda said...

hahahaha, cheered me up no end this morning, off to try and make it before tomorrow.

Irene said...

Brilliant, just brilliant.

luv
irene
xxxx

Watts on the cards??? said...

I agree with Irene!!! Simply BRILLIANT...thanks for providing me with a good old chortle before I go off to work to tackle the VAT, then finish at lunchtime for Christmas!!! Have a great day! xxx

Alison Horne said...

fantashtic Di! I also find a solpadol followed with impromptu visit to hostelry after work for mulled cider worksh a treat.Merry crimbo.xxxxxxxx

Cath Wilson said...

The old ones are the best, eh? I've seen this but with brandy and slightly different, of course, as they all are.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Di!! All best wishes xxx

Jules said...

Hi Di

I'm not a Vodka drinker .. .. do you think it would work with Gin or Sherry!!

Tee hee had to smile because tomorrow will be my baking day and I thought it was going to be a serious recipe I could follow until I read "a bottle of Vodka" and my brain said "a bottle!!".

I then convinced myself it was going to be a little minature bottle .. .. but then read the rest and realised I had been taken in!!! Hook line and sinker!! LOL!!

Thanks for the laugh.

Hope you are feeling a million times better today.

Love Jules xx

Angela said...

Muddy Crumble and a Happy Noodel Dear!

Laughed out loud...really.

Have a great Christmas and see you on blogger in 2012.

Axx

TangolikeRaindrop said...

Merry Christmas and all the best for 2012! :)

Sandra (Stamping For Pleasure) said...

Sherry Mristmas Di! Hic!

All the best to you and yours for 2012. xxx

Karen said...

HaHaHa love it Di LOL!!

I hope you are beginning to feel a bit better now ready for Christmas, luv Karen xxx

Sandra said...

Hi Di, Best Recipe ever........lol Brilliant! Have a lovely time over the festive season and keep well:) Sandra H

Gill xxx said...

Hi Di

Hope this works with Brandy
What do you take for one large hang over!!!!
Have a lovely Christmas and enjoy
the cake!!!!!

Mary said...

Merry Christmas Di...Loved looking at your decorations....hmmmm that cake isn't Weight Watcher approved is it? Your Carolling Duck is so cute and I loved reading your Santa tale. I look forward to seeing you after Christmas!

Helena said...

No, not the cat!!!!

LOL!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the gorgeous card you sent which has pride of place here.

Elizabeth said...

Brilliant - I'm in tears :))

505whimsygirl said...

Maybe we can make that recipe while you're in New Mexico - but with tequilla?!?

Hee hee

Merry Christmas!!

Annie said...

A fab post Di. I needed that giggle.
We now have little Lexi in hospital. She was rushed in last night with bronchitis. She is a poorly little girl at the mo and the Dr says there is every chance Sam will get it too....so mcu for all the planning eh? We just want her home and well of course. :-(
Biggest hugs to you and yours,
Annie x

Irene said...

Merry Christmas to you and your Family, have a wonderful time.

luv
irene
xxxx

Kathleen said...

Well, I wondered what your Christmas feast would be and this morning I wasn't disappointed. It is very rare that I laught first thing in the morning, usually grunt, but this really made me laugh.
Best recipe yet. Oh don't faint I do like vodka.

Kath x

Anj said...

aww so funny - I love it x x

The Crafty Elf said...

((Burp))ooops, excuse me! Great recipe Di! I got excited as soon as I saw the Martini glass and knew I was in for a treat!!! Di...you have made my first year of blogging truly wonderful and I can't thank you enough. Your visits, humour and comments have been a real inspiration to me and I'm not sure tis year would have been the same without you! I look forward to reading your blog becasue I can relate and I don't think I've told you this before but it's scary how much you resemble my sister. That's a good thing just so you know. I am blessed to have three wonderful sisters and we are very close! I'm so lucky!!! It's so uncanny how similiar you and my one sister are - in so many ways! Weird almost. Anyways...I wish You and Yours a Very Merry Christmas and nothing but Good Health and Happiness for 2012. Enjoy time with your family and friends and I'll see you in the New Year! ((Hugs))

butlersabroad said...

Why is it that I can completely and utterly 100% see you making this very cake????!!!! I had an American ask me for a Christmas cake recipe years ago so I gave her this very one! She howled with laughter for days!! Have a wonderful Christmas, and thanks for all the fun and friendship.

Hugs
Brenda

Mrs A. said...

shas anywun sheen me cat. I dun wot use zd. Bl.....y godd year dat cider/drinkie poo /whasever.
Hic. Mrs A,b,c, All of em. cn see 3 no smack dat 4. ooooo put der darn table there!!!!zzzzzzzz.

Penni said...

Mmm sounds good Di - Maybe I'll give this a try LOL!!!!

Merry Christmas

Hugs
Penni
X

Faye said...

The perfect recipe. Hic! Have a wonderful Christmas. Hic. xx

fairyrocks said...

Thanks for the smiles Di.
This is too funny.
Our Kat is right at this moment meowing about something...I like that last line...honestly I would never,but meow meow.....
I will be smiling all day