A Tuesday Tale - 'en garde'!

Although not a truly naughty kid, I did end up in pickles at school, mostly through either talking too much or giggling.

In the late afternoons, once lessons finished and we'd had tea, there was a gap before it was time for supper - which was then followed by prep. time. The school deemed that we had to choose at least a few extra-curricular activities to fill up most of those late afternoons - they sure kept us busy there! Sport was top of my list - especially during the warmer months as it got pretty cold on the North Sea coast of Germany. One Winter term I got terribly excited about some new indoor lessons though - in fencing!! Whoop, whoop - now, that was much more like it!

I signed up immediately! We spent what seemed like endless hours learning the moves plus the correct names and terms before even being allowed a sniff of a foil, but I just loved the pure elegance of the moves - a bit like 'ballet for fighters'.

After a while, the big day eventually arrived and we raced off to get all geared up. Now, in those days, fencing apparel was nothing like it is now - as I was soon to learn. My pal and I found a couple of jackets - hers was a good fit, mine was too large :( Undaunted though, I carefully turned the cuffs back and then we were shown the 'additions'. WHAT? Tin saucer things, and you had to put them WHERE? In my haste I shoved the pair of saucers up inside the front of the jacket and scampered off to join in the fun.

We dutifully lined up and were finally given our foils to hold - after another safety lecture. On went the masks - ooer, beginning to look 'the business' here I thought. We lined up, raised our foils in salute and then it was lights, camera, ACTION!

Yeah, right! Remembering the previous lessons, back and up went the left arm, gracefully curved in one of the more balletic poses. Feet in position at 90 degrees, knees bent and foil arm outstretched - then 'Lunge' came the order. Left arm was sharply brought down to counterbalance the lunge - and then it all happened. The left hand tin saucer promptly popped up and partially out of the neck of the jacket, walloping underneath my chin. A squeak of pain and sharp intake of breath, meaning that said jacket was even looser for a moment, and the right hand tin saucer then decided to make a bid for freedom - choosing the bottom of the jacket as an exit point. With a clatter it hit the floor, rolled a few feet and then merrily and very noisily spun round for ages before finally grinding down to a halt. By this time the mask was off and yours truly was gawping in horror at what had just happened before dissolving into embarrassed hysterical laughter.

This was absolutely not good etiquette and it was tersely explained that you didn't just 'shove the tin saucers up the jacket front and hope for the best', apparently there were pockets inside the jacket for them to be placed in :) Unfortunately, the laughter merely subsided to uncontrollable giggles which just wouldn't stop so that was another exit for me - shame, as I truly was keen!

This incident was brought to mind when we were watching a James Bond film with some fencing in the other evening and later on, having already told my OH about the incident, he was in bed and heard me scuffling around on the landing in front of the full length mirror there.

Next thing I knew, he was looking out of the bedroom door demanding to know what on earth was going on. 'Err, just wondering if I could remember the correct fencing moves' I replied, followed by a quick demonstration of 'en garde, lunge and parry'. 'And anyhow, I bet Errol Flynn practised his fencing moves in front of a mirror' I added defensively.

With a sigh Len said 'I doubt if he'd have been wearing pink fluffy slippers, a Winnie the Pooh night shirt and hopping about brandishing a hair brush instead of a sword though!'. You know what, sometimes he is such a 'party pooper' :(

Di
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