Tuesday 22 November 2011

A Tuesday Tale - should have looked in the mirror

Oh well, no card OR photos today :( And, I owe emails to soooo many bloggy friends but I just haven't had a chance. The main reason is that my 'in-house critic' is almost climbing up the walls with neuralgia so I've been keeping an eye on him a lot of the time. It isn't 'man-flu' either - I can tell by the grey, drawn look that it's truly, very painful. Also, by the time I came to take a photo of the card I've been working on when possible, the light was awful and even using the daylight lamp there were reflections bouncing everywhere. I might ask 'Santa' for a light tent thingy but am not too sure - any thoughts, bearing in mind I have limited space in here?

But, I did manage to make 'himself' laugh yesterday with another escapade in which I perhaps excelled myself. I'd forgotten to get the Sunday joint (don't ask, it just happened) so had to drop crafty things I was in the middle of (this is important to what follows) and dash out to Sainsbury's in a rush mid-afternoon. So far so good, got the lamb (err, and a few other things) and whizzed to the checkout. I noticed a few funny looks from the checkout lady but thought nothing of it (I often get funny looks - grin). The chap behind me in the queue was particularly obnoxious - you know the sort, pushing with his trolley, starting to edge me away from the till point before I'd even paid. So, he got a little kind of 'stern' look from me - at which the Male Chauvinistic Son of a B**** smirked at me - don't you just lurve guys like that!! My stern looks are meant to freeze folk to the spot at the very least!

Off I tootled to the car still bristling a bit, loaded the shopping into the boot (why can I never just buy the one thing I went for?), hopped in, started the engine..........and then looked in the rear view mirror before reversing. A red sparkly nose was looking back at me! OMGosh - should have checked the mirror before I raced out of the house - I had a big smear of red glitter on the end of my nose, held firmly in place by a big dobble of Anita's glaze!! Sheesh - I drove home peeking through rather than over the steering wheel!!! No wonder there were smiles/smirks and the checkout lady was pointedly rubbing her nose. Once he stopped laughing through his pain, Len did ask if I was auditioning for Rudolph's stand-in - should I smile or cry I wonder?

Anyhow, not being able to see/or just not looking at your reflection reminded me of a wartime tale. My friend Pauline (she who is terrified of a Cuttlebug) used to be in the Army in her younger days and had a few friends much older than her - who lived through the war. One friend was called Pat and she seems to have been created from the same mould as me, poor soul!!

One evening, during the 'blackout' when everywhere was shrouded in darkness to deter enemy bombers (an explanation for those not here in the UK) - although I hasten to add that I was a Baby Boomer AFTER the war - Pat decided a night out was in order. As you did in those days, she dressed in her meagre finery - best outfit, silk stockings even (where did she get those, my Mum used gravy browning she used to tell me, and then pray it wouldn't rain), plus a very smart new hat and, living near London, went into the City for some fun.

When the evening ended she caught the train home, a steam train belching soot at that - so far so good. Hope you're still with me - I think it's worth it!

The train came to a halt so thinking she must be at her destination, even though all signs had been removed from stations and the inside and outside of the compartment she was sitting in all alone was totally in darkness, she hopped out into the pitch black. Err, BIG mistake! The train had merely stopped for some reason other than reaching a station. As Pat, luckily hung onto and swung from the door (no sliding doors in those days) her life passed before her in case she fell onto the tracks. But, being an Army gal she managed to scrabble her way back into the compartment - probably a bit like a Laurel and Hardy movie scene - and collapsed back into her seat feeling most ruffled and so glad no-one else was in the same compartment to witness the indignity of it all.

Then, a few minutes later a ticket collector opened the door to the compartment from the corridor to check tickets. Pat produced her ticket and after ceremoniously punching it, using his torch to light the darkness, the ticket collector peered closely at her and asked if she was alright. 'Fine' said Pat quite primly with a little toss of the head - after all, she hadn't been seen doing her acrobatics and even though she was still 'feather ruffled' she was outwardly a smart young woman on her way home from a fun, and probably to this country 'oik' of a ticket collector, terribly 'elegant' night out in the City. The collector sort of shook his head and left her in peace. The next stop was Pat's station and she was happy to do the short walk home and get into her own little place.

Then, in the hallway, she looked down - her precious silk stockings were hanging in shreds! Slowly, she looked up and into the hallway mirror - and gazing back at her was nothing short of a tramp! Soot streaks all over her face, hair like a banshee and to totally finish the look - her precious hat now had the the crown totally almost ripped from the brim and and the crown was wobbling round hanging on by about a couple of inches of material at a jaunty angle as if to say 'Sheesh! That was some night out!'. So much for dignity huh!!?

I am assured this is totally true - I don't think you could make it up :)) And my escapade in Sainsbury's reminded me of this tale. Maybe it's my sense of humour but I almost cry with laughter imagining this - she also had another silly wartime escapade which I'll keep for another time......... when the light here is too bad to take a photo of a card :)

No sign of any visitors to the hedgie food yet - I have a spare colander at the ready (snort, snort) plus gardening gloves! Yes, Bernie - all hedgies should be hibernated by now for the Winter so to have one wandering around possibly looking for food is worrying. It could be ill or not have enough fat reserves in its little body to settle down for its Winter sleep :(

WOYWW tomorrow and hopefully at some point later in the morning there will be enough light to take a photo of today's card ready for Thursday! Otherwise I could venture back into Sainsbury's and whip the card plus camera into one of the tall illuminated freezer cabinets and snap away - at least the photos would look frosty, unless I'm ejected for being a public nuisance :) Such is life :(



  1. I've no time to read blogs today cos my 'to do' rail is heaving but once I'd stated yours I just couldn't stop. I shall call you Rudolph from now on :-)
    At least I would recognise you in the street :-)
    A x

  2. Thanks Di Hope the little thing will be okay.
    I simply love your stories. You have such a wonderful gift for telling a tale. My mother did too. She'd often have us literally rolling on the floor holding our sides.
    I do hope Len will be feeling better soon.

  3. Oh Di . . . you are a one . . . you made me laugh this morning, so thanks for that! Annie says she's gonna call you Rudolph, but I think I might call you Bilbo Baggins for your tales! xxx

  4. I just popped by to catch up with my WOYWW friends form last week!!!! Yes I know, don't ask!!!
    Anyway, I'm so glad I did, I've got tears rolling dowmn my cheeks. You are brilliant tonic for a grey Tuesday.
    You should have told the young gentlemen (in loose terms you understand) that glitter was the latest "in" thing and didn't he know that. I'm so glad these pushy folk at cash desks annoy others. I'm very mild mannered but the times I've nearly blown a gasket at the checkouts with the rudeness of others.
    Your wartime story would make a perfect scene in some drama series!!!
    Hope Hedgie goes to sleep soon and your poor Hubby feels better.
    Hugs Lisax

  5. Oh Rudy, you do make me laugh! Loved the wartime tale too. I hate those rude people in the supermarket, had some bloke doing the same to me last May when I was home. I was having trouble with my debit card as it hadn't been used in a while (only used in England) and he was doing the impatient thing with the trolley..... so me being me, I grabbed the end of it and rammed it back into him. It was only then I realsied how tall he was and that the trolley had actually rammed him quite hard in the groin!!! Served him right though!! And yes, I'm from Durham (thought we'd have this conversation before?), from a little village near Chester le Street, how about you??


  6. Wonderful story...I felt like I was swept away back into time! You tell a story so well my friend! Oh...and your red nose story, have had that happen on one or two occasions myself. Ya just have to laugh!

  7. Hee hee. Girl, you are funny! How fitting though, a nice red glittery nose just before Christmas. Just love it.

    You are certainly a good storyteller. I hope we have a chance to meet when you come to New Mexico!!!

  8. Oh make me HOWL with laughter,,......ever thought of taking up writing as a hobby, you would sell are truly PRICELESS!!!! Now hurry up Rudolph and write some

  9. Oh Di, you crease me - no wonder you managed to get a smile from your poor OH even though he is in pain - neuralgia is unbearable - hope it eases for him soon.

    Thanks for comments received recently. I didn't think the A-Z challenge myself - that was the brainchild of Ginny, aka Asidorodos on Docrafts. Glad you enjoyed it ... sometimes it was a real struggle coming up with ideas for the more awkward letters.

    And, yes, I agree, playing Happy Families and other such gentle pursuits did us no harm at all. I remember playing these card games on rainy days on caravan holidays and we all looked forward to Father Christmas bringing us the compendium of games every year - even mum and dad enjoyed playing the games with us ... today's kids just do not know what they are missing :) Elizabeth x

  10. Two fabulous stories Di, both really made me giggle.

    Here's one that may make you giggle too. A neighbour of mine went on a night out to the Mecca in Bradford (late 1960's) and this guy asked her to dance and while dancing he said "I love that white streak in your hair!" She thought what white streak so went off to the loo only to find that a pigeon had deposited a rather large dropping on her head.

    Kath x

  11. Hi Rudolph oh sorry Di couldn't You made me laugh thought l was the only person to do things like that double check next time you have to go out in a hurry, :) Sandra H

  12. Oh dear... thanks for the laugh Di! Hope hubby feels better soon. Vx


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